I wish i could just tell you how I’m feeling without sounding like and idiot. I wanna be open and honest with you but I’m afraid you’ll end up hating me or something. I mean it is wrong of me not wanting you to hang out with certain people but i feel like its not that bad when those people are nothing but bad influences on you. Its so frustrating how i feel like you don’t care or pretend not to notice when I’m mad at you. On the one hand I love the shit outta you and I care about you more than I have anyone else and I all i want is for you to love and care for me. But on the otherhand sometimes i just wanna punch you in the mouth for being so nonchalant about certain things. Like with this dumb whore, are you still talking to her? Does she know about me? Do you even really love me? Why do I have to keep asking myself these questions?!?! I feel like she has some kind of hold on you but Aaron, you made the decision to be with me, you wanted to spend time with me, you say we have a great time and you love me. So why is it so difficult for me to let this go??? I feel like if she wasn’t so “easily accessible” to you then it wouldn’t be too much of an issue. I dunno I’m just afraid that on of these days you’re gonna wake up and not want me anymore. And i know it’s only been 3 months but i dunno you mean so much to me, and I would do anything just to spend time with you and be your one and only. I guess technically i am but i dunno i just guess I’m scared that you could be lying to me about all of this.

Ugh feelings suck :/